Ten reasons why IPL IV failed to capture hearts, minds and wallets

A photo of a match between Chennai SuperKings ...

It was to be bigger,better, grander.

However, it has not worked out that way—for IPL 2011.

Television viewer’s interest plummeted, ticket sales tapered off and there was a jaded, sleazy feeling to the largest sporting extravaganza on the Indian sub-continent.

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You can’t get drunk unless you’re 25

A road sign attempts to discourage drivers fro...

The Maharashtra State government devised a novel solution for the menace of drunken driving.

Simple, let’s just raise the minimum age for alcohol consumption from 21 to 25. A youngster can purchase beer at the age of 21. Other hard liquors are to be consumed only at 25.

You can get a driving license at 16, marry at 21 but can’t drink until 25.

I guess, the state of Maharashtra won’t have any young drunk drivers any more.

PS: I’m mostly a teetotaller but some laws are truly absurd.

Sachin Tendulkar, the cricketer, versus Sachin Tendulkar, the ‘artiste’

Indian cricketer, Sachin Tendulkar, doing what...

Sachin Tendulkar is an “artiste”. Not a mere cricketer, not a mere entertainer but a performer who uses creativity, imagination and skill arranging elements in such a way to to affect the human senses and emotions and having a certain aesthetic value.

This definition of the batsman comes courtesy that Income Tax Appellate Tribunal which overruled an IT officer’s objections that Tendulkar’s income earned via commercials should not be granted tax-exemption.

The said officer contended that by appearing in commercials Tendulkar does not become an actor.

If fake pilots are flying, what are real pilots doing? (Satire)

The shocking news that fake pilots have been flying jumbos and airbuses for SpiceJet and Kingfisher has eviscerated the flying public. There exists widespread outrage.

An intrepid journalist decided to investigate and find out what genuine pilots in Mumbai city are up to , in the absence of jobs (taken up by fake pilots) in the private and public sector.

A few pilots have been discovered practicing their craft on flight simulators; the simulators give them a feeling for the real thing and are less expensive on their pocket-books.

Other licenced pilots have been discovered at Lions Park, Juhu, pretending to fly the concrete airplane.

The aeroplane at Lions Park, Juhu

Yet, other pilots have made it a daily ritual to watch air planes take off and land at Sahar and Santacruz aerodromes.

It has been learnt from reliable sources that the Indian government will be floating tenders for private ‘fake’ airlines who will be allocated ‘fake’ routes.

Details of the tender bids will be advertised in the online journal “Faking News”.

Logo of the Indian news satire website Faking News

Image via Wikipedia

Kindly watch this space for more details.

Disclaimer: The facts in this article are made up but you knew that already, didn’t you?

Quote of the day:
No man ever listened himself out of a job. – Calvin Coolidge

Have a complaint? Will complain!

India

Image via Wikipedia

Ever wondered whom to turn to for those little, niggling, minor complaints or irritants that others tell you are nothing or just to live with it?

After all, that’s life in India. Chalta hai, everything goes!

Well, if you have an internet connection and the time, Complaints India might just be the place for you.

The web-site address is : http://www.complaints-india.com

All you need to do is fill out a form and your grievance will be published on the site.

If you take the trouble to locate the offending party’s e-mail address, your plaint will be forwarded to the (un)concerned party.

If not, the good guys at Complaints India will try and  locate the appropriate address from their database.

The site works on the premise that firms do not want the adverse publicity generated regards  their products and/or services.

Good luck complaining!

Quote of the day:
Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. – Bertrand Russell

Everonn Systems: Prometric approved? – II

In response to my complaint about the test environment at the Everonn centre at Andheri (East), Mumbai, the only response I received was an email from a Ms. Prabhu Vasudevan.

Produced as is:


Dear Mr. Linus Fernandes,

We appreciate the valuable feedback shared from your end. We have taken immedaite action on contacting the particular Everonn site and sharing the same with them. It would be made sure that we would definetly be much more Csutomer Centric and take necessary actions to avoid such complaints in future.

Thanks for all your cooperation.

Warm Regards,

Prabha Vasudevan

Manger Test Security & Integrity

Everonnn Systems: Prometric approved centre?

Project Management Institute

Image via Wikipedia

I recently had to give the Project Management Institute exam at Prometric centre in Mumbai, Everonn Systems at Andheri East. The exam centre is located just past the Saki Naka junction. The exam went off well, but I encountered a couple of hassles that I sought to get clarified by the Everonn management. Though I have mailed the following communication to the e-mail address listed on their website, I have yet to receive a response. Reproduced below is the excerpt of the communication:

Dear Sir/Madam:

On the 4th of February, 2011, I gave the PMI certification exam for CAPM at your Andheri location.

Though the facilities provided were first-rate, I have a couple of points that I would like to bring to your notice.

First, the young lady making the announcements exhibited a hostile attitude. An attitude that is and was unwarranted.

Secondly, during the exam, a gentleman on the other side of the room, kept on going “Mada, Mada” throughout the exam.

This was a huge irritant and made the exam-taking a veritable nightmare.

I hope you will look into the matter with all due haste and consideration.

Sincerely,

Linus Fernandes
http://linusfernandes.com