You can’t get drunk unless you’re 25

A road sign attempts to discourage drivers fro...

The Maharashtra State government devised a novel solution for the menace of drunken driving.

Simple, let’s just raise the minimum age for alcohol consumption from 21 to 25. A youngster can purchase beer at the age of 21. Other hard liquors are to be consumed only at 25.

You can get a driving license at 16, marry at 21 but can’t drink until 25.

I guess, the state of Maharashtra won’t have any young drunk drivers any more.

PS: I’m mostly a teetotaller but some laws are truly absurd.

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The ‘New Americans’

There are some who would like to believe that in the new age of a power shift from the Western nations to the East namely India and China, India can claim the mantle of being the ‘new America’.

Though that’s very much in the realm of possibility, being the ‘new America’ is not driving on the right-hand side of the road. Besides the US of A,  162  other countries drive on that side of the road. None of them claim to be the ‘new America’ solely on that basis. In fact, the majority of the world  drives on the right. It is the minority (76) including the UK and India that prefer the left-hand drive—a colonial hangover.

Kindly clean up your doggie-poo when walking your dog. ‘Civil Americans’ are not allowed to do that. They are fined.

Copying Hollywood movie plots in Bollywood, Mollywood and Tollywood does not qualify either.

If fake pilots are flying, what are real pilots doing? (Satire)

The shocking news that fake pilots have been flying jumbos and airbuses for SpiceJet and Kingfisher has eviscerated the flying public. There exists widespread outrage.

An intrepid journalist decided to investigate and find out what genuine pilots in Mumbai city are up to , in the absence of jobs (taken up by fake pilots) in the private and public sector.

A few pilots have been discovered practicing their craft on flight simulators; the simulators give them a feeling for the real thing and are less expensive on their pocket-books.

Other licenced pilots have been discovered at Lions Park, Juhu, pretending to fly the concrete airplane.

The aeroplane at Lions Park, Juhu

Yet, other pilots have made it a daily ritual to watch air planes take off and land at Sahar and Santacruz aerodromes.

It has been learnt from reliable sources that the Indian government will be floating tenders for private ‘fake’ airlines who will be allocated ‘fake’ routes.

Details of the tender bids will be advertised in the online journal “Faking News”.

Logo of the Indian news satire website Faking News

Image via Wikipedia

Kindly watch this space for more details.

Disclaimer: The facts in this article are made up but you knew that already, didn’t you?

Quote of the day:
No man ever listened himself out of a job. – Calvin Coolidge

Quote/Misquote: Stanislas Wawrinka,Roger Federer,Novak Djokovic,Rafael Nadal,Venus Williams, Caroline Wozniacki and Na Li (Satire)

Stanislas Wawrinka against Jérémy Chardy in th...

Image via Wikipedia

STANISLAS WAWRINKA

"I have no idea. Sorry. I have no idea why."

What he really meant:

I don’t know why Europeans dominate tennis right now. I just play, man, don’t bother me.

What he definitely didn’t:

The Europeans have stolen the Americans’ and Australians’ spinach and will keep popping them in the eye.

(Popeye refrain "I’s bin hornswoggled!” in background.)

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Bolshoi The Boxer Takes On A Cat (Satire)

512px-Boxer_bringe_crop

My dog, Bolshoi the Boxer walked in through the door, looking all frazzled, scratched,cut and torn.

“Look what the cat dragged in.” I said, pointing to him.

Bolshoi glowered at me but made no reply.

“Cat got your tongue?” I teased.

Bolshoi growled at me and started washing himself in the small tub that serves as a basin.

“Why don’t you let the cat out of the bag and tell me what’s bothering you?”

I am as curious as a cat sometimes.

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Round And About–Personal

Amitach Bachchan photographed by Studio Harcou...

Image via Wikipedia

I have not seen all the Crorepati programmes on TV, (December 1, 2001)


But I have seen most of them. And more than watching Mr. Bachchan, I am interested in observing the kind of contestants he gets.So far, there has not been a single person I have known earlier. A large number of them are from Delhi and Calcutta, also from little towns in the northern states, Haryana, Rajasthan, even Orissa, certainly Bihar, but not UP. From the South, it is mainly Bangalore. Not a week passes when there is not somebody from our once Garden City. But I have rarely come across anybody from Chennai. This may be because they have their own ‘Crorepati’ programme, done in Tamil and much tuned into. It is presented by a Tamilian film star, who is extremely popular though he does not look like a star. But then neither does our Bachchan.Everytime a new show begins, I pay attention to Mr. Bachchan introducing the new contestants to the audience. Mostly they are housewives, correspondence class students, and that amorphous body of men which goes about describing itself as office staff. Nothing wrong with that, after all television is their media. As Mr. Bachchan calls out their names, they wave to the audience like Mrs. Sonia Gandhi, hand stiff, only the palm moving, like a windscreen wiper.Each one I give credit for having gone through so much trouble to get on to the show. Getting on the show is more difficult than winning the jackpot, I think.They all appear a little nervous, which is expected, though I do not know whether the nervousness is caused by being on the show, or meeting Amitabh, or worrying at not being able to answer any of the questions and making a fool of themselves. Though this is not the Mastermind or Cadbury quiz, so they go home with at least Rs. 10,000 and often more. And most of them look like they can do with the money and it would mean a good deal in their lives. Some of them openly admit they have not seen so much money in their lives.

They are innocent in other ways also. The expert they choose to ring up is normally no expert. He or she is a relation or a colleague at work in the little place they come from. It is almost as if they want to give their father or a favourite ‘chacha’ a chance to talk to Amitabh Bachchan.The nice part, perhaps the nicest part of the show, is that everybody, from Mr. Bachchan down to the audience in the studio and the vast audience of a few million watching on their TV sets, want the contestants to win and are happy when they do. And this in a world whose major characteristic is envy and most people are not happy at other people’s happiness. What, I wonder, turns us all into angels when watching Kaun Banega Crorepati!

Original article by Busybee here…