What’s the first line of the last song you listened to (on the radio, on your music player, or anywhere else)? Use it as the first sentence of your post.
Warning: The following verses may offend your tummy. Secondly, I have been in too few bars and never been drunk in any. Also, Toledo is in Ohio, a Midwestern state.
 

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In a bar in Toledo

 

Was a bartender in a sombrero

 

On a bar stool with a red string

 

I walked on over, I walked in closer,

 

Sat down and asked for a drink.

 

When the drinks finally hit me,

 

I asked for another, “Hit me with plenty.”

 

And the bartender kept serving up the themes.

 

I went crazy with laughter and kept throwing up after,

 

 

In the mirror I saw the patrons flinch,

 

I thought I’m so out of place.

 

Until I saw the board above me,

 

“We charge extra to clean up vomit and faeces.”

 

Leaving the bar was like climbing a mountain,

 

I kept wishing I were dead.

 

And all the while I was shaking

 

I turned to the bartender and said.

 

I picked a fine place to be drunk

 

Come twice already and the third’s no charm.

 

I’ve had some bad ones, I’ve had some sad ones,

 

But for now this splitting head won’t heal,

 

I sure picked a fine place to be drunk.

 

The bartender was kind, he sure didn’t mind,

 

He grabbed me by the arm, his shoulder around mine,

 

He said,” There’s a hotel nearby,

 

We’ll get you a room there,

 

Don’t you think we Southerners don’t care.”

 

And so we walked on without talking at all.

 

He was no heavy but he was strong,

 

And he did me no wrong.

 

And as he checked me in into a room with a view,

 

All I could do is doodle doo.

 

I picked a fine place to be drunk

 

Come twice already and the third’s no charm.

 

I’ve had some bad ones, I’ve had some sad ones,

 

But for now this splitting head won’t heal,

 

I sure picked a fine place to be drunk.

 

~Linus Fernandes