More jokes from


Identity Crisis

A gnome is in the garden busily destroying some bushes when a house cat appears. “What are you?” asks the cat.
“A gnome,” comes the reply. “I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, I make annoying music at night to drive them crazy, and I love mischief. And what, may I ask, are you?”
The cat replies, “Um, I’m a gnome.”

Reeled In

— Marion O’Leary

A friend of mine was working as a nurse in a West Australian coastal town when a tourist came into the medical center with a fishhook lodged deep in his hand. Since it was the weekend, my friend had to summon the doctor from home.
The tourist was dismayed to see that the doctor was young, had long hair and wore sandals and a very casual shirt. “You don’t look much like a doctor to me,” he said dubiously.
The doctor examined the hook in the tourist’s hand and responded, “And you don’t look much like a fish to me.”


— Kip Hartman

The brave new memo about the company’s revised travel policy read as follows: We were no longer allowed to buy cheap tickets via the Internet. Instead, we were required to use the more expensive company travel department. Furthermore, to show how much money we were saving, we were asked to comparison-shop for fares — on the Internet. I thought the typo in the last line of the memo summed it up best: “The new process is ineffective today.”

Have a great day!

When it’s a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.Voltaire


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