Jokey! Jokey!

Scan of a Christmas greeting card.

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I do the water and sewer billing for a small city in Washington State. Customers complained about our postcard-sized bills — which they said looked too much like junk mail — so we decided to start sending full-sized bills in envelopes. The month before we made the switch, I had a note printed on the cards, announcing the change. Two days later, I heard someone yelling at our receptionist, “Is this some kind of joke?” When the customer threw his bill on the desk, I saw his point. The note was printed: “Coming Soon! New Larger Bills!”

— Diana Holland



Greeting Cards: When you care enough to send the very best but not enough to actually write something.

Aside : What about e-cards? Since when has convenience got the personal touch beat?


My husband, a doctor, received an emergency call from a patient: She had a fly in her ear. He suggested an old folk remedy. “Pour warm olive oil in your ear and lie down for a couple of minutes,” he said. “When you lift your head, the fly should emerge with the liquid.” The patient thought that sounded like a good idea.
But she had one question: “Which ear should I put the oil in?”


— Belinda Hibbert


Even though we were on a shoestring grad-student budget, my wife insisted we pay off the hospital bill when our son was born. Now we had to figure out how to meet our other financial obligations. We were discussing this one night when the baby began crying for a diaper change. As my wife picked him up, she sighed, “He’s the only thing in this house that’s paid for, and he leaks.”

— Kevin Aiken



Have a great day!


It’s a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.

Harry S. Truman


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