"I Just Want to Explain" – Explaining as a Form of Control


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What happens when you try to explain yourself to someone who is attacking and blaming? Does it EVER work? Discover how else to communicate.
"My husband never lets me explain anything to him. It’s so frustrating! He makes these statements that are blaming and attacking and then he won’t listen to me when I’m trying to explain."
"Why do you want to explain?"
"I NEED to explain because he is not seeing things accurately. He is making assumptions that are not accurate."
"So you want to explain to get him to see things differently than he does."
"Yes."
"Isn’t this, then, a form of control? Aren’t you trying to get him to change how he sees things, or how he feels about you?"
"Well, yeah, but he doesn’t have all the information he needs."
"So he is blaming you as his form of control, and you are explaining as your form of control – is that right?"
"Um….I don’t know. I never thought of explaining as a form of control."
"Aren’t you trying to change his mind – change how he sees things?"
"Yes, I guess so. But is that wrong?"

For more read http://www.innerbonding.com/show-article/2395/i-just-want-to-explain-explaining-as-a-form-of-control.html

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