Some jokes, for a change, from the RD.com website.
The Dog Ate My Alarm Clock
According to careerbuilder.com, a full 15 percent of workers admit to getting to the office late at least once a week. And here are some of their excuses:
I have transient amnesia and couldn’t remember my job.
I was indicted for securities fraud this morning.
Someone stole all my daffodils.
I had to go audition for American Idol.
I was trying to get my gun back from the police.
Contributed by Laurie Callier on facebook.com
A mosquito bit me!
— Dennis Rickman
Staring at an empty cage, a zoo visitor asks, "Where are all the monkeys?"
"It’s mating season," the keeper replies. "They’re inside."
"Do you think they’d come out for peanuts?"
— Robert A. Kozma
As a Catholic, I’m partial to Notre Dame football. As a former Michigan resident, though, I also keep tabs on Michigan college teams. One Saturday afternoon, a neighbor dropped in while I was watching Notre Dame vs. Michigan State.
"Which team do you want to win?" he asked.
"Gee, I don’t know," I replied. "I’m kind of torn between Church and State."
Good day to YOU!