Some jokes, for a change, from the RD.com website.

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The Dog Ate My Alarm Clock

 

According to careerbuilder.com, a full 15 percent of workers admit to getting to the office late at least once a week. And here are some of their excuses:
I have transient amnesia and couldn’t remember my job.
I was indicted for securities fraud this morning.
Someone stole all my daffodils.
I had to go audition for American Idol.
I was trying to get my gun back from the police.

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Amos Who?

Contributed by Laurie Callier on facebook.com

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Amos.
Amos who?
A mosquito bit me!

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Monkey Business

— Dennis Rickman

Staring at an empty cage, a zoo visitor asks, "Where are all the monkeys?"
"It’s mating season," the keeper replies. "They’re inside."
"Do you think they’d come out for peanuts?"
"Would you?"

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Classic Feelings

— Robert A. Kozma

As a Catholic, I’m partial to Notre Dame football. As a former Michigan resident, though, I also keep tabs on Michigan college teams. One Saturday afternoon, a neighbor dropped in while I was watching Notre Dame vs. Michigan State.
"Which team do you want to win?" he asked.
"Gee, I don’t know," I replied. "I’m kind of torn between Church and State."

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Good day to YOU!