Linus Fernandes

Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Top Posts

In blogging, Statistics on June 4, 2010 at 15:23

Home page
2,795

IceBreaker Speech at Mumbai ToastMasters
180

The Women’s Reservation Bill
130

About
109

Web Services, SOA, BPM, and Cloud Computing VII
89

Overstock.Com OSTK
76

Tennis, AITA, Mumbai University & Kalina Campus
56

True Search for Humor! Oh, how sach!
53

The Balanced Scorecard & Project Management
45

Emceeing a ToastMaster Meet!
43

ITIL V3 – A Brief
40

Web Services, SOA, BPM, and Cloud Computing V
35

The Sum Of All Parts
35

We’re too self-absorbed!
33

So why do Indians cheat?
31

Disruptive Innovations
30

Portfolio Management & Corporate Strategy
29

Now, That’s Incredible!
29

Disclosure
29

Bollywood – Actresses – II
26

Web Services, SOA, BPM, and Cloud Computing IX
26

Ethos,Pathos,Logos
26

How Proza(i)c : Happiness in a Pill?
25

Web Services, SOA, BPM, and Cloud Computing VIII
25

Of Words, Poetry and Bad Grammar!
25

Bollywood – Actors – I
25

Poetry
25

T-Commerce – Teeing Off
24

Gods of Clay!
22

Snapshots on OOP
21

Quick Tips for ToastMaster(s) of the Day
20

Microfinance and you
19

IPL’s ‘Twittergate’!
19

ITIL – Next!
17

For the cricket fans!
17

Bad Hiring Practices & Google
17

Toastmasters
16

Tennis comes into its own!
16

Harsha Bhogle: The importance of the IPL
16

Capitalism: Its Two Variants
16

Trojan Horses
16

Web Services, SOA, BPM, and Cloud Computing I
16

RESUME
15

IT Project Management Quotes – These are not original
15

Web Services, SOA, BPM, and Cloud Computing II
15

Life and Program Management
15

Doosra: The life and times of an Indian
15

Ice Maiden

In fun, humor on April 14, 2010 at 08:17
Do Something That Scares You Every Day

Image by toastycakes via Flickr

She’s so cold….

That if you were to place her at the North Pole, she could reverse the melting of the polar ice caps! Strike one for Green To Gold!smile_regular

That you could save on a year’s supply of sawdust , if you were to use her instead!smile_wink

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Quotes & Asides

In fun, humor, Thought, thought for today on April 9, 2010 at 09:51
German-born theoretical physicist Albert Einstein.

Image via Wikipedia

The truth is always a compound of two half- truths, and you never reach it, because there is always something more to say. – Tom Stoppard

—> There is never something as the whole truth. It is just each person’s perception of reality. To have the whole truth, you have to be GOD.

Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain. – Friedrich von Schiller

—> Need I say more?

If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith. – Albert Einstein

—-> Oh, what pain we bear!

Only the shallow know themselves. – Oscar Wilde

—> Oh, what depths we plumb in our souls! And others! Especially others!

Architecture is the art of how to waste space. – Philip Johnson

—-> Beautifully!

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. – Saint Augustine

—> Just a little more time being a devil!

A coupla months in the laboratory can save a coupla hours in the library. – Westheimer’s Discovery

–> Experience, the best teacher! But not if you’re making explosives!

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Getting Rich!

In fun, humor on March 24, 2010 at 17:35

An off-beat post on how to get rich quickly or maybe not!

Have a great day!

An Open Letter to Anyone Who Knows an Airline Employee

In humor, prose on February 11, 2010 at 10:25
Good Day

Image by Dr Case via Flickr

http://adriennebrowne.com/2010/02/11/63/

I love this post from an airline employee.

Have fun! Enjoy!

Good Day!

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Jokey Jokey!

In fun, humor, prose on January 29, 2010 at 07:26
Polar Bear at Cape Churchill (Wapusk National ...

Image via Wikipedia

Some jokes from RD.com

Birthday Surprise

– Maria Smith

My husband and I were on our way home when he was pulled over for speeding. As the patrolman returned his driver’s license, my husband, hoping for leniency, sheepishly asked, "Officer, did you notice that yesterday was my birthday?"
"As a matter of fact, I did," the officer replied, "because that’s when your license expired!"

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Taking It With You

Lying on his deathbed, the rich, miserly old man calls to his long-suffering wife. "I want to take all my money with me," he tells her. "So promise me you’ll put it in the casket."
After the man dies, his widow attends the memorial service with her best friend. Just before the undertaker closes the coffin, she places a small metal box inside.
Her friend looks at her in horror. "Surely," she says, "you didn’t put the money in there."
"I did promise him I would," the widow answers. "So I got it all together, deposited every penny in my account, and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, he can spend it."

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Climate Change

– Arthur Carlson

According to a news story, if global warming continues, in 20 years the only chance we’ll have to see a polar bear is in a zoo. So in other words, nothing is going to change.

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Miscellaneous

– Megan Strickland

Rushing to work, I was driving too fast and as a result was pulled over by the highway patrol. The state trooper noticed that my shirt had the name of a local high school on it. "I teach math there," I explained.
The trooper smiled, and said, "Okay, here’s a problem. A teacher is speeding down the highway at 16 m.p.h. over the limit. At $12 for every mile, plus $40 court costs, plus the rise in her insurance, what’s her total cost?"
I replied, "Taking that total, subtracting the low salary I receive, multiplying by the number of kids who hate math, then adding to that the fact that none of us would be anywhere without teachers, I’d say zero." He handed me back my license.
"Math was never my favorite subject," he admitted. "Please slow down."

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Things Public Servants Like

In fun, humor, prose on January 21, 2010 at 15:53

An interesting article about government servants and how they can pound!

http://stuffpublicservantslike.wordpress.com/2010/01/21/numbereight/

I’ll plead guilty to being a pounder too! Simply because I never had the benefit of typing classes!

Have a good day!

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