Deutsch: Chow mein. Español: Chow mein. 한국어: 차우멘. ‪Norsk (bokmål)‬: Chow mein. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s been a strange week. A Haryanvi khap leader went on national television to declare that rapes were caused by chow mein, a conclusion he arrived at via the scientific method of being dropped on the head as an inbred baby. At the other end of the scientific spectrum, a man jumped from the edge

of space and landed, as expected, in an ocean of lingerie. But most important, while all of this was happening, I discovered that I’d almost turned 40.

That’s because I came across a recent survey, which claimed that 28 was the new 40. A thousand men and women were polled to find out when they thought youth ended, and the age they agreed upon was 28.  (Of course, this doesn’t apply to Rekha, a woman who looks like she is held together solely by make-up.)

Age is a real talking point amongst us 20-somethings, because we’re self-absorbed babies; only in our 20s do we start realising that playtime is over, and it’s time to man up. Unless our name is Rahul Gandhi. The survey also asked respondents to identify the top 10 changes in behaviour that signal the end of youth. Listed below are some of those responses, in no particular order. Feel free to check which ones apply to you, and in true 20s fashion, proceed to the nearest bar regardless of your score.

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